Fun Things During Pregnancy (27 weeks, 6 days)

A quick list:

* Putting on socks and tying my sneakers
* Trying to turn around to see while backing out of tight parking spaces in the rental car
* Trying to close the door of the rental when the door is completely open
* Shaving my legs
* Trying to give myself a pedicure (this "try" ended in failure)
* Picking things up at work and getting a lecture
* Getting back to sleep after superstrange, vivid dreams (last night I dualed a farmer with a windshield ice scraper; the night before I dreamt that I made friends with Karl Rove and Condi Rice)
* Trying to eat sensibly during the holidays
* Popping Tums all day
* Justifying a special pregnancy massage Friday afternoon

(The last one was pretty good. The massage therapist recommended by the midwife practice was very kind and gave me almost my full hour despite my being desperately late after being stuck in the infamous "Friday before Christmas shopping" traffic. A 10 minute drive took 45 minutes! I think my favorite part might have been the fortress of pillows she has on her massage table. At least two pillows for my neck, two for my legs, one for my belly, two for my arms and one for my back. I was surprised I could fit on the table. I might just see if I can come back to take a nap on her table!)

Who's Your Daddy? (27 weeks, 3 days)

I just wanted to write an entry to say that I really appreciate my husband.

My husband who has cleaned the kitty litter box since July.
...who has attended every prenatal appointment.
...who validates all of my decisions, even strange ones.
...who makes excellent greens, beans and cornbread.
...who has his own listing at IMDB.com (I'm very proud).
...who tries to parent me into early bedtimes, exercise, and protein.
...who goes to childbirth classes with me and is the "coach."
...who finished sealing our new front door this weekend.
...who made sure I didn't get a ticket when I freaked out at my fender bender.
...who gives Mouse his eyedrops as I have a hard time bending down.
...who works as much as he can, even if it is making animations for UPS videos on labelling hazardous materials.
...who survived the two days of irritability and any other pregnancy side effects.

Lots to appreciate, lots to love. I know he will be a good dad.

Of course, if Sprout keeps fidgeting like Aaron and getting long legs, that all gets blamed on Aaron.
(Old photo of us at railroad tracks off Duke East Campus)

Maybe I should have warned them....

(A post especially for my old A-Teamer friends Josh and Charles.) Have a good laugh at this: Aaron and I won competition at the last childbirth class. At the first class (which we missed) everyone was assigned to go to a La Leche League meeting and learning about breastfeeding. We didn't do that but we did go to "Breastfeeding School" at the hospital two weeks ago. That gave us an edge when we started class off with a long quiz about breastfeeding. Aaron's mom would have been so proud -- my husband knows what oxytocin and prolactin is and how to cope with infections. We won! I was surprised because you got a point if you raised your hand and answered a question correctly AND you were keeping track of your score. Keeping track of your own score? It was a competition, people! We might all be learning about natural childbirth, but that doesn't have to make us soft! At the end, we won by consensus of the other couples.

They should have known that they were dealing with a high school quiz bowl co-captain and 1992 Florida state champion.

We won a pair of fuzzy baby slippers with zebras on them. Ah, sweet victory.

Less than 90 days (27 weeks, 2 days)

Just got back from the midwife and everything was fine. Well, you know fine, except for me having to take the glucose tolerance test. It wasn't any big deal, but probably not a breakfast of champions. For the test, you drink about 5-6 oz of a high sugar drink and then they draw your blood. I opted for the orange flavor. To be honest, I don't think it was that different from the McDonald's orange drink that I used to get at the Y in elementary school. They never seemed to mix enough water with it, so it was always supersweet. If history serves as a guide, I'm sure I have a very good tolerance for the stuff. I do have a slight headache from it and need to eat some protein before I crash.

Baby's heartrate was great, and, hyped up from the sugar blast, Sprout kept kicking the midwife as she checked my measurements and his heartbeat. He's probably blacking out now from all of the sugar. The midwife said that the "stretching" I feel occasionally may be Sprout standing up or turning around (as I had assumed) or that they may actually be Braxton Hicks contractions. Who knew? I don't know what a contraction feels like. And, things must be getting serious now. We start appointments every two weeks from here and have to turn in a birth plan to the midwives soon.

(Sailor the Cat is an orange blur at the bottom of the photo here. I haven't had any dreams about him or dressed him up for the holidays so this may be his only shot at getting pictured at aboutsprout.)

For those needing help with John Hurt allusion....

I made an allusion to John Hurt in his big scene in Alien the other day in reference to the absolute strangeness of having an independently moving creature in me. For those who need a refresher (and didn't watch the last season of BBC's Coupling), here it is:


There are differences: I plan on Sprout coming into the world in less sci-fi way and currently we are not planning sequels.

My eBa(b)y Addiction (27 weeks, 1 day)

I have this one question: how did people have children before the internet? It is absolutely incomprehensible to me...Sure, sure, parenthood is one of those "since the dawn of mankind" things, but it could not have been easy and I'm not sure how we survived as a species. I would easily say my time online has at least doubled since we decided to have a baby. First there were the websites about getting pregnant. Those were then followed by first and second trimester boards and now onto third trimester.

I say this with only a hint of irony that internet is only a close second behind Aaron in this pregnancy. Aaron's great and all, but the internet helped me: research the midwife practice and hospital I go to, find the Bradley birth classes, research baby products and clothes, register for breastfeeding class, answer questions about health and baby development, and, recently, post silly pictures of my pets and vent about fender benders.

My biggest time consumer, though, is shopping on eBay. It is so much so that I often think "eBaby" instead of "eBay". Just yesterday, I bought a baby food recipe book/storage kit, striped baby socks, and socks with monkeys (and a supercute outfit for nephew Zachary). All NIB/NIP/NWT/mint condition! I have also bought crib bedding, nursery stuff, and boutique clothes, all for 50% or less of retail. I live online looking for the must have Maclaren stroller we covet, crib, monitor, car seat etc.

What renewed my eBay relationship was the Le Top outfit at right. We saw it for $50 at an online boutique, but I would never buy it for that, even if it is the cutest baby outfit I have ever seen. It is a footed onesie and matching velour jacket with a puppy in a plane. The onesie has puppies on the feet and the jacket has puppy ears! I have complained that baby boy clothing is dominated by this theme of bears/puppies on some form of transportation, but I forgive this outfit that cliche. My picture does it no justice at all. I found it on eBaby for so much less that I won't feel bad if Sprout wears it only once or twice. And, speaking of places I spend time, let me not forget to mention Freecycle and Craig's List. I'm not a big shopper. I really am not. I am too cheap for that and I don't think I am materialistic. But, online bargain shopping is so rewarding.

What would I do without highspeed internet? Could I feel ready for Sprout without it? I'm just glad that I don't have to face the answer to that question.

I'll try to post tomorrow after the latest midwife appointment.

Who Says We Don't Celebrate Christmas?

Maggie is doing her best Max impersonation from "The Grinch". Maggie hopes that Sprout will get here soon so that I won't remember to put embarassing head gear on her at holidays. Fat chance. This amuses me too much.

Some Quick Answers (26 weeks, 1 day)

Just quick answers to questions I have gotten this weekend and today....

Q: Are you registered somewhere?
A: Yes, we are registered at Target and at Babies R Us/Toy R Us. Both registries are available online.

Q: Is the movie working yet? How did you get it to work?
A: Yes, it appears that if you missed the movie, you should be able to see it now. Aaron changed something about the file that makes it easier. I found that at work where we use Windows, I could not view it without having downloaded the most recent version of Quicktime and then letting it take a few minutes to download.

Q: Have you picked a name yet?
A: Yes, we have decided.

Q: So....
A: Still not telling. This part we are keeping to ourselves!

Love to you all!

Even more milestones (25 weeks, 5 days)

I've been trying to make sure I record all the milestones so that we can remember them for later. We've seen a few more this week.

1. There are now less than 100 days to go.

2. I think I have to call my belly button as an "outie" these days. It's not way out there, but might as well be. I miss it. And, contrary to what my dad told me when I was very little, there is no ant that lives in there. I may never trust him again.

3. (This one is a little old.) According to WebMD, Sprout is officially viable and capable of surviving without me these days. A strange marker of time, but reassuring.

4. Sprout is SUPER active. He has been squirming and kicking so much that Aaron was actually able to SEE him kicking me last night for a couple of minutes. Definitely a moment where I think about John Hurt and his climactic moment in the movie Alien.

5. First car accident!

Yes, Sprout was involved with his first car accident on Wednesday. (Remember when I said I had a bad day?) First, let me say, Sprout is fine. I went to the midwives' today and got a full check-up. Sprout's heart rate was about 140 beats per minute and Wendy the Midwife said he was a real "sweetheart" for being cooperative when she used the doppler to check him out. Second, let me again say that Sprout is okay. The only things that were not fine were: the front end of my just paid off Civic Hybrid, my dignity after having gotten hysterical in front of the police, and my ability to focus for the rest of the week. It really was not a serious car accident. (You can see this from the photo below.)

On Wednesday afternoon, the power went off at the office. I stayed for 45 minutes but eventually ran out of things to work on without the phone system or the computer or a light source. A block away from the office, I stopped at the four way stoplight. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for woman on the cellphone in the midsize SUV who attempted to cross my path. Neither one of us were going very fast so the damage was not serious. Though shaken, I was able to stay very calm.

And, remember the guy who had run off the road and me wondering why no one stopped? After all, I would want people to stop for me? Well, putting that out in the universe paid off as a good number of people stopped to see after me. I guess 4 years of working in the same community really has made a difference. One of our community partners actually was in the lane next to the woman who hit me and saw the accident and stayed with me until the police got there. I did not, however, know then that she had seen the accident. She also called the zone commander (The Atlanta Police Department has 7 zone commanders to give you a sense of who he is) who we both know and work with to send a car out, rather than calling 911. (This becomes a critical detail later.) I'm still calm at this point and feel fine and lucky. No airbags, no cinching of the seatbelt, no stiff neck.

My colleague went onto the meeting in the building next to the intersection when Aaron and the police arrive. (Meanwhile, some of the school staff and people I know from the community all stopped to ask if I needed them and if they could help. I really see that as a silver lining on this crapstorm). Of course, I shouldn't have let her go, because when the police get there, they say that they can either issue citations to both of us or neither of us because they cannot determine who had the right of way. They will not include the statement of my colleague if she saw the accident because she is no longer at the scene of the crime and they will not amend the police report after they leave. (Remember, at this time, I'm not sure she has seen the accident.) They would not be able to tell if she was just telling them she was on the scene. The police report will say that we are both liable for the accident.

Okay, cue my hysteria on the side of the road. I am so angry now because it seemed completely obvious to me that if I had crossed 3 lanes of traffic before being hit and therefore just seconds from being out of the intersection that I was not at fault. So angry, that I am in fact crying and nearly hyperventilating. I couldn't believe that someone hit my car, and I was going to be responsible for paying for it. That's just not the way it is supposed to be: if you are at fault, you have to be responsible. If you are not at fault, you are not responsible. I'm always telling my 11 year old friend when she tells me something is unfair that she can't let that shut her down. That's great advice, but for her, something being unfair might mean not participating in a school program. For me, it is a $500 collision deductible! That's unfair! I really have other things to spend my money on right now. For brevity's sake, I'll just note that my tantrum continued on for a lengthy period of time, that I did not move the officers with my sniffling and crying, and that Aaron truly did his best from making sure I wasn't arrested and did not get a ticket. The (ir)responsible driver said nothing. After the police left, my colleague came out from her meeting and told me she had seen the accident. I called the officer and he told me that he still would not include her statement.

I went home mad. I went to bed mad. I woke up mad and went to work mad. I was mad at my bad luck. I was mad at people telling me that because I am pregnant I couldn't/shouldn't be mad. I'm pregnant -- I still have emotions! Further more, I was mad for not being able to be in control of the situation. That was the worst part. Immediately after the accident, I was calm. I saw the whole big picture. I was okay. Sprout seemed to be okay. It could have been so much worse. We could have lost so much more than the panels on the front of my car. I tear up a little to think of that one still. In the process of being focused on the big picture, though, I seemed to lose my presence of mind and good sensibility. I had a camera but didn't take pictures. I had someone there with me, but didn't even ask if she had seen the accident. I didn't tell her to stay. I cried in front of the police and the woman who hit my car and me and Sprout. I was not in control.

I know rationally that I can't always be in control, but not being in control definitely had a price...at least $500. I can't help but think of labor and delivery. I know I won't be able to be in control then. What sort of reaction can I expect to have then? Maybe something else positive about this is that I have a chance to reflect on that for the next few months and prepare myself for the moments when I cannot be in control like when the baby comes (and then goes on to live the rest of his life).

After 24 hours, though, I lightened up. I called the commander to ask if he would give a statement to my insurance company that in fact he had spoken with the witness. Armed with his statement and the statement of my witness the insurance company might be able to pursue the case with the other driver's insurance. He very clearly told me that he was going to have my colleague's statement included in the report because he knew that she had been at the scene. He would have a copy of the amended report for me soon. What I did not know is that my colleague and now hero had called the commander and talked to him for over an hour about what happened. By the time I spoke with him, he wished to discuss it no further and was ready to resolve the issue. I was thankful both for my colleague and for the commander knowing both of us from our work in the community. I was just so relieved.

And, then, today, we went to the midwives'. I was just so relieved that -- as we had thought -- Sprout was okay. I can really say that I know everything will be okay.

Big as a whale (25 weeks, 3 days)

Today didn't end up being a great day, but I'm going to have to write about it tomorrow to vent. Tonight, I just needed to calm down, but I promise Sprout and I are okay. Instead of focusing on my day though, though, I wanted to focus on something happier! Aaron and I went to the brand new Georgia Aquarium this Sunday. It was fantastic and the big exhibits were astounding. I was a giant geek running around going, "Ooh, penguins! Ooh, otters! Ooh, sharks!" Everything was the BIGGEST! BIGGEST FISH (the whale shark -- they have 2 of those, one pictured at right). BIGGEST TANK! BIGGEST LINE AT THE CAFE! I was not the biggest thing around this time! I even surprised Aaron by having gotten us 2 "fish scales" with our names on them. (As part of a fundraiser, you could put your name on one wall of the aquarium in little fish shapes that light up.) You have to understand that this was a big deal, because I kept it a secret from Aaron for a good 7 months! I can never wait that long to keep something from him. I always ask if he wants his birthday or anniversary gifts early, just because I am so terrible at keeping secrets from him!

We had a good time on Sunday and probably spent half of our time watching babies and "shopping" for strollers. That was probably worth the admission. Aaron even chatted up a lady who had both the brand of stroller we covet AND had her little boy in an Le Top cowboy outfit similar to one I've bought. Glad for the season tickets we bought as I will enjoy taking Sprout there in his stroller and Le Top outfit during the upcoming year.

This belly shot brought to you courtesy the new Georgia Aquarium.

Crib bedding: one decision down! (25 weeks, 2 days)

Well, time has been rolling on, as has the Sprout. As alluded to in my previous posts, Sprout and I appear to have had a growth spurt. There is no more room to grow! Not only does that result in the weight gain I whined about earlier, but it means that I can feel Sprout twisting and swimming all the time now. It certainly helps me feel connected to the Sprout and is very comforting. It also helps me feel winded on a regular basis and has introduced me to the joys of heartburn!

That's okay: I'm feeling positive enough that I can put a happy spin on that, too. Having heartburn -- after consuming almost anything from a hearty breakfast to a snack of a banana -- makes it okay to go for a tall glass of milk (maybe with a side of cookies) or milkshake. Oh, sure, still keeping my eye on weight, but I'd prefer to be happy, fat and heartburn-free.

Aaron and I have been making progress on getting ready for Sprout, too. Aaron bought a digital video camera so there can be many more Sprout movies to come. I, in turn, have made some executive decisions about the conversion of my office to Sprout's nursery. After many hours of deliberation, we've got a shade of blue to paint the room and I have crib bedding. (Now if I could just decide on a crib, I'd really be rolling.) The bedding is a blend of two different collections, one from Pottery Barn Kids and one from Land of Nod. Everything is the same shade of light blue, green, yellow and red. It was more than I first thought I was going to spend, but I still spent a lot less than retail, and spending less than retail can be magical.

From the picture on the bottom, I got the crib skirt with little jungle animals on it, a circular rug, pillow and memo board and an extra crib skirt that I am going to turn into window valances. From the picture on the top, I got the bumper and quilt. The pictures make it look like everything is not the same color palette, but it is and I hope it works to have it mix and match. Everything but the quilt was from eBay or the Pottery Barn Outlet in Gaffney, SC. Example of how I love a bargain? Here's my brag. The crib skirt was originally $60. While I can't figure out why someone would buy it for that amount, I was happy to get it for $14. Many thanks to the person who gave me the birthday gift that I applied to the quilt and bumper.


I still have plenty of time to make decisions on what I like and what we are getting for Sprout, I tell myself. However, we are just about 100 days from March 19. Putting it that way makes me feel like the day we get to meet Sprout is not terribly far away and so the urge to nest grows and grows.

Thanks again for all the kind words and attention you all have been sending my way!

Home Movies (24 weeks, 3 days)

JAMIE'S NOTE: Yes, there does appear to be some technical glitch with watching the Quicktime movie. I can see it at home fine, but few appear to see it otherwise. I have the inhouse IT department working on it. Will let you know when corrected!

It's here!

Aaron has digitized the video recording of the ultrasound from October. I have posted the highlights for your viewing pleasure to the right under "Sprout's First Movie". (Quicktime required and it may take a few moments to load.)

It is really hard to ooh and ahh looking at a little skeleton, even if it is my baby! However, after a "few" viewings and after accepting the fact that this wiggling thing is in me, I've really gotten to love watching this. I love seeing Sprout's little hands by his face, the legs crossed at the ankles, and the little jaw working.

You can also see Sprout's heart beating away, his ribs, his spine and even the hemispheres of his brain. At one point, there is a "jiggling" -- that was the ultrasound tech trying to move the sleepy Sprout and get a better view of him. The song is sung by Kermit the Muppet. We've been listening to it a lot and I like to think of Sprout as a little creature "wiggling in the water...only job is swimming peacefully".

Commemorative collector's edition DVD available!

Bad Mommy Confessions (24 weeks, 2 days)

This mommy thing is going to be a lot of learning. For me, I think a lot of the learning will be in learning to let go of certain ideals. Right now, I am struggling with all of the things that I mean to do to be a good mommy and it's rough going. Allow me the opportunity to confess all of the things that I already feel guilty about:

1. Not taking my fish oil supplement everyday. It is supremely yucky stuff, especially when you take it straight from the spoon. The kind I have is ultrapurified, lemon flavored, probably keeps me regular and is supposed to make me and Sprout healthier and smarter. Still, cod liver oil! I conveniently left it at home while traveling last week because it needs to be refrigerated. It hasn't been opened in a week. I hear you can't taste it when you put it in yogurt or smoothies, but I am hesitant to flavor my fruit smoothies with essence of cod. Seriously, I think I might be heroic if I managed to do this everyday.

2. Not exercising enough. Okay, I have never exercised enough, but now would be a good time for me to be serious about it. Before Sprout, I was going to the gym a few times a week. Now, it is more like a few times a month. I am well intentioned and mean to do yoga at home or walk the dog, but it just doesn't happen very much. I also don't always do the exercises recommended by the childbirth class.
I know what the positive outcomes are if I do these exercises, yet I still struggle.

3. Being vigilant about my diet. This one is hard to admit and I'm a little defensive. I do get a lot of protein as a quasi-vegetarian. However, I don't know that I am vigilant about making it to 80 grams a day (twice what I needed before pregnant) and I don't know that I am always smart about controlling for fat or calories. Just because I am now entitled to some extra ice cream doesn't mean I should eat it everyday. Maybe. I do love that new Haagen Daaz ice cream with waffle cone bits in it, though.

These are my worst offenders though I could probably find more if so motivated. (Oh, like not drinking enough water everyday. Oh, and not writing to this site as much as I could. Oh, and not getting enough sleep during the week.) Don't worry about writing in with tips, though. My problem isn't a lack of knowledge, just of discipline and mindfulness. I know I am a little compulsive about these things and I know that everything will be okay, regardless of whether I get that spoonful of cod liver oil down. I'm thinking I might try to work out some behavior chart where a good week will earn me a treat like a massage or pedicure. I'll let you know how it goes!

Don't tell anyone (23 weeks, 2 days)

Hello, all! Aaron and I have had a busy day. I'm actually writing from my dad's house in Charlotte. We drove up here from Atlanta today. While it is not that long of a drive, I am increasingly aware that I don't like long cartrips, pregnancy or no. A four hour trip to Charlotte is about my max. It's nice to have a brief respite from the rest of the trip out to Aaron's family (as well as nice to see my dad, stepmom and stepsister).

But, the day started off on an interesting and strange note. We were driving to the midwife appointment today and right around the corner from the office, I saw a car pulled off funny to the side of the road. I asked Aaron to turn around because I thought someone across the wheel. Yes, in fact, a young man was passed out unconscious across the steering wheel of his car and his car had apparently rolled off the road. Well, fortunately this wasn't a David Lynch scene a la Wild at Heart, but it did get the adrenaline pumping. Lucky for Aaron and I someone else had stopped, my hero, Bobby the ER Director for Piedmont Hospital. Unlike us, he at least is not totally unfamiliar with situations like this and with Aaron's help was able to pull the young man out of the car and get him on the ground where he starting seizing. Jesus. I called 911 and sounded like a total idiot for at least 5 minutes trying to describe what was happening. The guy had marks on him, his clothes were falling off, he was breathing but not waking. Within a short time, the seizing driver came to, totally disoriented and having a hard time putting it together. Then he turned to Aaron and me and begged us not to call anyone: he didn't want to be in trouble, he was fine, don't call anyone, don't tell anyone, please don't tell anyone.

He hardly seemed to understand our point, however, that he had been out for a couple of minutes, had a seizure and needed to be checked out by someone other than Bobby. He did thank us and tried to regain composure. He still said not to call anyone, but I had already been off the phone with 911 and you could hear the sirens coming up the road. I don't think that he managed to escape his troubles as the police showed up shortly after the firetruck and paramedics. Bobby (this story's hero) said that he thought that it was likely drugs that had done this to the young man. I hope that tomorrow will be the start of something new for the driver.

Random notes about the experience:
1. This man rolled off the road in the middle of morning traffic and had been there for a few minutes before we saw him. Nobody could stop? If I roll off the road, please somebody stop.
2. That Blind Melon song that was so popular a few years ago -- you know the one where in the video the little girl is dressed up as bee -- was blasting from the guy's car.
3. The bumper sticker on the man's car read "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part".

So, we were late to the appointment, but the midwife was understanding. Not unlike all the other appointments, things were normal normal normal. My uterus measured where it should (23 cm), Sprout's heart was going strong, and we are fine. The midwife said that she approves of the childbirth class that we are taking and said that patients who take that class always know the right time to come to the hospital and make informed choices. She said that I don't have to worry about going to the class that the practice recommends if I am a Bradley mom. Good news, that. Also, good to meet the 3rd midwife in the practice. I have now seen all of them and feel comfortable and trust them. I might start trusting again after the first practice I went to during this pregnancy had me so frustrated and angry.

I did have my own moment of not wanting to tell, though. I apparently have had a growth spurt since my check-up last month. A BIG GROWTH SPURT. Don't tell anyone, but I gained a lot of weight. It could be my loading up on dairy (ie milkshakes) recently, it could be not walking and working out like I was in the spring, or it could just be that I am 23 weeks pregnant and had a growth spurt. The nurse gave me the raised eyebrow, but the midwife said it's fine so long as I don't come in next month having gained the same amount of weight. I will not share what I weighed in the beginning or what I weigh now, but I definitely had one of those moments where I thought, "Oh, so this is why pregnancy drives women crazy." The midwife asked me to consider before I freaked out that 2 people are on the scale when I weigh in. Nice rationalization. I might use that, if need.

More dispatches from the road later!

Asians as Aliens (22 weeks, 4 days)

Aaron reminded me after reading my post from yesterday about something else that might have contributed to my dream about having a baby that was half alien. Well, I have been spending some time not only thinking about my identity, but about Sprout's future identity and if being 1/4 Asian American is part of how someone might be identified/self-identify. Does being 1/4 Asian American qualify you as being Asian American? Does it depend on your cultural surroundings? What boxes do you check? Now, I know some people who identify as being Native American and are 1/16. I think many people would say if a person was 1/4 African American, that person is black. But Asian/Asian Americans don't get looked at like other minorities do -- they are a model minority, after all. So is being 1/4 Asian, 3/4 white just white?

If you are trying to watch the train of thought, the cars get a little jumbled around here....)This all probably relates to the dream as the baby was different by some identifiable quality (like race/ethnicity). And, when I was at Duke, I took a whole class on "Asians as Aliens in America". Hence, the alien baby might have been related to being an Asian baby. Funny how the subconscious turns one thing into another....

Also, Faithful Reader....

Thanks to my faithful readers who come back here so frequently and write me emails despite my irregular posting and terrible correspondence habits. I'm trying to tackle response emails a few at a time, so bear with me. It is so good to be in touch with everyone, though!

Just a few things to catch up on though....the Alien Dream wasn't the only milestone of late. First, Aaron got to feel Sprout tumble around for the first time. Funny enough, I missed it! I'd been trying to get Aaron to catch the little gymnast for a week and then on Sunday night after I had alreayd fallen asleep, Aaron caught some movement.

Second, last week we went to our first childbirth class. It took me a moment to warm up to it, but I feel really positive about it now. It is part of the Bradley Birth Method, a natural childbirth approach, and they believe in getting their parents super educated so their classes span over a 12 week period. That's a little intense, as is having so much homework (exercises, relaxation exercises, reading, worksheet) and following a particular diet. Still, doesn't that seem like that would be the approach best suited to me?! What I also appreciate about it is that there are 4 other couples in class to go through it with. I had been disappointed to find out that the midwife practice I DIDN'T pick now offers group prenatal care. (Group prenatal care is a relatively uncommon practice of having women who have similar due dates come in as a for brief check-ups as a small group and then spend the rest of their appointment as a support/education group. Studies show high satisifaction and good health outcomes for women who are part of such a prenatal cohort.) I think this experience might substitute some for what I think I would have liked for the group care experience. The shocking things I learned in class included my not really having fears about pregnancy or birth (ONLY of taking an infant home!) and about my protein intake.

Some of you know that from relatively early on, I have been trying to be conscientious about making sure I get all the protein me and Sprout need, especially since I don't eat most meat (except some seafood). I had been pushing to get 60 grams in a day and had been logging all of my food to help. ARGH. The diet recommended in class says that to prevent toxemia and 101 other nasty things, I should be eating EIGHTY grams of protein. 8-0! Sprout is going to be made of lots of glasses of milk, peanut butter sandwiches and Quorn nuggets. I just don't know if I can eat that much food. On Monday, I got a vanilla milkshake to help out on the protein. I certainly hope Sprout will appreciate my sacrifices!

New Milestone...of a Sort (22 weeks, 3 days)

Well, I reached a new milestone last night....I had my first overly vivid dream about a baby. I'd been told to expect it, but my dreams have not been any different from any other time and have not involved any babies. Last night I dreamt about a baby, but it wasn't Sprout. (I knew it wasn't Sprout, because the baby was a girl.) It was darn vivid, though, and a little scary.

First, the baby already teeth as an infant. Maybe not such a scary thing in and of itself, but I am planning on breastfeeding, so still qualifies as a little scary. And, then there was the fact that the baby was part alien. Yeah, an alien. There wasn't any understandable reason for the baby to be part alien -- it just was. The baby wasn't a monster, but a little different looking and the future for the baby was uncertain. Compounding the situation, Mouse the Cat (our black and white kitty shown below) was also an alien. Mouse could talk and also had a dramatic problem with matted fur. Actually, Mouse talking and being an alien was almost more scary than than the baby, as it called to mind Stephen King's Pet Semetary more than Dr. Doolittle. In addition to waking up a little freaked out, I was really trying to remember what Mouse's voice sounded like....

Where did the dream come from? Well, I guess I should stop making asides about Sprout and the chestbusting alien from Alien. Yeah, should definitely stop that....And, some of it probably comes from my thinking about different identity issues, though those seem more funny than scary to me. Though I am just over halfway through pregnancy and have many wonderful years of parenting ahead, it seems those around me are already preparing me to lose myself. I find that no one ever just says "Hello, Jamie" anymore. I am: the "Sprout Mama", "Little Mama", "Mommy", etc. While endearing in many ways, I hadn't expected I would already start to be identified and defined by this new part of my life! Further, I find that whenever I act a certain way that I probably did a year ago (impatient, irritable, forgetful or anything of the like), people attribute it to Sprout! No, I say, it's all me! If I were smart, though, I'd probably go ahead and let the babe-to-be take the flak for the less than positive stuff -- he won't know! I haven't been scared, though, because all the attention to Sprout also has gained a lot of new attention to me. For example, everyone always asks how I am feeling and how am doing. Darned if I don't like being in the spotlight a little!

So, bring on the next milestone. Glad to get this one out of the way and will try not to dream of aliens anymore.

We're Back (21 weeks, 5 days)

We're back from DC and so glad to be home. Being away interrupted my renewed relationship with eBay, which I now use for the sake of buying Sprout stuff. I did win this one item last week and it is my first official clothing purchase. The animals on the feet made me do it. If you can't see the detail, it's a hippo, monkey and crocodile playing music. I promise I won't post too many pictures of baby clothes, but this was a first, so I think it is okay.

Mr. Sprout Goes to Washington

No posts for the next couple of days for sure. The Sprout and I are headed out to Washington DC tomorrow for a conference. My coworkers and I are doing a presentation on the project that I have been working on for the past few years. It should be a good presentation and nice conference, but I hate to be away from home. Posting will resume shortly after our return.

Also, just wanted to put a picture of me and my sister Dawn. Who would have thunk we would ever be old enough to have children of our own? Dawn gets a special Sprout Shout-out for the boxes of hand-me-downs that have been arriving daily it seems. Good thing I like her taste her how she dresses my nephew Zachary! Yesterday's box included a knit blue baby hat with puppy ears and the onesie that we bought at a Prince concert just before Zachary was born. Sprout (or at least I) will enjoy all the outfits immensely.

Requested Update

A number of you have asked about how I am looking these days. For your benefit, an update.

Belly button: On its way out
Belly: Definitely round
Clothes: Still in my own, though I have given up anything vaguely tailored. God bless all those loose fitting clothes I have. Must face that I will need something maternity other than just bathing suits soon.

The photo is of my belly from earlier today. Of course, from a little bit of a distance it doesn't look THAT huge. Really. I actually think that my belly is a little larger looking on my right side. And, that might be supported by the last ultrasound when we found out that the placenta (I get a whole new organ out of this!) is attached on the right. I also get most of my thumpings from Sprout on the right.

I'm also including a shot from our vacation to St. John in September. I'm not looking at my supermodel best, but that might be understandable as we were almost to the end of a daylong hike down a mountain to the southside of the island and around a rocky outcropping. (It was exhausting, but really great as we got to see so much on the hike: ancient rock carvings, a sea turtle nest, a rainforest, an old sugar mill and lots of wildlife.) Even 6-7 weeks ago and looking at me straight on, you can see the pregnancy "bump."

I can't imagine how big I might get before this is all done.

Pregancy Overload (21 weeks)

It was bound to happen sometime: I have let myself get overwhelmed by the pregnancy and baby planning. I spent a good part of the weekend thinking about strollers, car seats, childbirth classes, crib bedding, registries, protein gram counting, supplement taking, cute clothes, et cetera. It was exhausting and I ABSOLUTELY promise not to try to not do it anymore. I know having a baby isn't nearly as complicated as all I invested in it these past few days and I would prefer to let the overwhelming part come after March 19....

Still, in some ways it was productive. As of now, I am signed up for a breastfeeding class with the hospital's lactation specialist, a short series childbirth class that the midwife practice recommends and a longer childbirth class series for the Bradley childbirth method. In my research on childbirth classes, I read a number of labor stories and got teary eyed in most.

I also rediscovered the wonders of eBay and have made my very first clothing purchase for Sprout. No surprise, it is a footed romper that has feet that look like animals. I'm sure there will be more eBay purchases to follow...

Now, if I can just keep my OCD tendencies suppressed for the next few months, I feel I will really have accomplished something (you know, in addition to growing a whole new life.)

Special Sprout Shout-Outs: I just want to share that it is nice to share in this experience with other women who are also having their first baby. Probably 50% of the reason I want to get into a childbirth class now is to meet more. Other mommies to be include Aaron's cousin (who in early March is going to beat us to the punch of having the 1st great grandbaby in the family), an acquaintance from work due in January, and Carly (one of my oldest and best friends from college who is due the day after me).

Pity the Poor Sprout (20 weeks, 3 days)

I'm generally of the opinion that babies don't need to be dressed up all the time. I doubt that I will be a fussy parent who plays dress-up with the baby as if the child is a doll. In general, I think it might be okay to just put the kid in the bare essentials and then let said child roll around in the dirt outside. So, not too worried about baby clothes. However, I do confess to certain weaknesses.

One, I love baby hats. Love love love baby hats. I especially love the quirky ones that make the baby look like they have puppy/kitty/bear ears. Of course, I hear that babies hate hats and maybe they especially hate quirky hats. I can understand this, but it doesn't stop me at all. Over time, this love has grown into the second weakness. I mean, why just stop with a child's head?

Two, I love baby costumes. And not just as Halloween costumes. I think it would be perfectly acceptable to go to the grocery store with a baby dressed as a ladybug at absolutely anytime of the year (just as long as the baby was comfortable). I was thinking I might buy a rabbit romper being sold for Halloween so that Sprout can wear it in the spring. Oh, pity the Sprout, as my sister Dawn is helping me indulge in this weakness.

Exhibit #1. The bee romper. It has teeny mesh wings on the back.

Exhibit #2. The dinosaur costume. Well, this one might only be appropriate closer to Halloween for the cooler fall weather when it may or may not fit, but Sprout will have try it on at least a couple of times.

Pity the Poor Sprout....

The Legend of Devil Dog (A Special Halloween Post)

Fear the glowing eyes! The flashing teeth! Evidence of the mythical Devil Dog! Oooooooohhhhhhh!

Halloween didn't go quite as planned as I was at work late, missed trick or treaters, and neglected to carve the Sprout-o-lantern. However, at this late hour, my midsection is so big that I could be the Great Pumpkin. Maggie still got in the spirit, though, and managed to stay in costume for at least 3 seconds at a time.

Sprout FAQ

So, since announcing Sprout and his ETA (look! I'm able to use gender specific pronouns now without the capitals! cannot stop using exclamations however!), we have just gotten lots of well-wishes, wonderful hand-me-downs (keep 'em coming), solid advice, and questions. As I lack a press secretary of my very own, here is a sampling I thought I would answer for folks at once:

Q: Are you excited?
A: Yes. What I find strange about this question is that it is almost followed by the question "Is Aaron excited?" Hmm....Under what circumstances would I answer that question "No"? I may start answering "no comment" just to keep things spicy. Well, he was in on this plot we have hatched from the beginning, and he is very excited. He may have been more excited when we were waiting for Star Wars Episode IV, but we saw how that ended in bitter disappointment, so I think he is playing it more low key here.

Q: Did you want a little boy?
A: I just wanted Sprout and am weirded out that Sprout is either boy or girl (though glad that it is one and not both). I admit it: I am scared of little boys. I have grown up and work in a world dominated by women, and I know and understand little girls. Heck, I once was one. Boys? Let's see, I dated some in high school and then married one, but that's the limits of experience there. And, I never had to diaper a one of them. Plus, it seems to me girls/women have more freedom and choices. You can be an astronaut or a nurse. You can wear loafers or pinchy heels. Men get three, maybe four different footwear choices. I think boys get more limited choices, too. Witness the baby clothes in Baby Super Mega Store this weekend. (Just how do the designers think of all those different ways to put puppies and planes/trains/cars/trucks on blue rompers?) I've got fears that I just didn't think about when Sprout was of an unknown sex: Will I understand a little boy? Will a little boy like me? How do you teach a little boy to pee standing up? Yes, all silly questions, but at least I can admit my fears. I am looking forward to certain things, though. One, I hear that boys love their mamas in a special way so much so that no woman could ever come close to mom. Two, I forgot: it's good to be a white man. I hear that's makes it easier to be President, Supreme Court nominee or CEO of a Fortune 500. Awesome.

Q: Isn't Aaron thrilled to have a boy?
A: Hmm. Again, this is a little weird like the first question. People who ask have not yet met Aaron or don't quite get it. Aaron is the guy who might have refused to marry me if I said I wanted to change my last name to his. His manhood isn't tied to Sprout's manhood-to-be. Aaron's just thrilled in general.

Q: Have you picked a name?
A: We are very close, I think. We will, however, not share until the bitter and likely uncomfortable end. Some of you may have heard names we were trying on, but I can neither confirm nor deny a definite name choice. It is not Amadeus, however, as Cheryl has worried. And, it won't be Sprout. Not permanently at least.

Q: What about last name?
A: No comment. I was telling people, but folks just don't understand and it takes too long to explain. If we haven't already discussed it, we will share at the same time as the rest of the name. But really, does Sprout need a last name? Doesn't only having one name give Sprout a leg up on being famous? And, it's not like people have always had last names. Geez.

Q: Have you felt Sprout move yet?
A: I won't testify to it in a court of law, but, I think yes. Over the past week I have noticed that sometimes I feel like I am being thumped like a melon but from the inside out. Mainly when I am lying in bed, but now even during the day. However, if you haven't seen from the link on the right, my uterus is trying to grow to just under my brainstem and pushing all the other organs out of my ears---I have no idea what that feels like either so I might be mistaking one for the other.

Q: How much weight have you gained?
A: What answer? I'm not going to answer that at all. However, I do like this question considerably better than when I get told that my face has really gotten round. (People! It couldn't get rounder!) Or, better than when people note I have gained weight. My young friend Stephanie says that I have gotten really fat in the stomach. God bless 11 year olds. Of course, she just found out a few weeks ago I was pregnant so she thought I had gotten really heavy for being one month pregnant. That's kind of sweet in a weird way.

That is all for now.

Happy Halfway! (20 weeks, 2 days)

I think this deserves a special post. I am halfway through this experience. The past few weeks have just zoomed past me and I'm very worried that the upcoming weeks will just continue to accelerate. It really took forever to get through the first trimester with all the worrying (which I am very good at) and secret keeping (which I am terrible at). Now that we know a lot more about Sprout, we have embarked on a few more steps to the impending babydom and each thing we do reminds we will then have something else to do and then Sprout will be here, and then Sprout will be growing up, going to daycare, driving, going away to college....What was it I said I about trying to take each day as its own day?! Ah well, we knew that wasn't going to last forever...

I celebrated by taking my mother-in-law to a Greg Brown concert. (Umm, I am having hard time figuring how to put links in my posts in my browser, so you will just have to go to www.gregbrown.org in some less convenient fashion than a link.) The bluesy Iowan folk singer (or folksy blues singer as it seemed last night) was actually touring someplace way down in Dixie for the first time since I started listening to Greg Brown in high school. I was so excited to go to the concert, because there are few musicians that will go see in concert and so few of the names on that list tour or say that they will ever tour again: Joni Mitchell, Paul Simon (sans Garfunkel), Prince. I thought I would never see Greg Brown. Anyway, pretty good in all, though I was sad that Variety Playhouse was half empty, but at least it meant that we got to sit in the center front row. I think I might have disturbed the sleepy Sprout as I got a thump a few times during the opening set. Aaron was at home suffering from ick that I have managed to dodge.

I also indulged earlier in the day in a little pre-shopping at the Baby Mega Super Store. I love those little guns that you use for registering. I might have wanted to have a baby just so I would have an occasion to register. That will just be our secret, though.

Updated Ultrasound Gallery (19 weeks, 4 days)

See link to right. I've posted some new "pictures" of Sprout. My favorite is the picture of the little foot. A special edition version for diehard fans (ie the 6 minute video) should be posted tomorrow.

As I mentioned, Tuesday was very overwhelming for me. Aaron thought I just might have been stunned to find out Sprout was a boy (which wasn't that much of a surprise to me). However, it was really having one of those moments to say that this having a baby thing is REAL and not just my clothes getting tighter. We spent at least half an hour with the very sweet ultrasound tech as she took anatomical measurements. Making the connection that I am carrying this independently moving creature with all of those little bones and organs....well, it was very new and emphasizes to me the reality that I already know: while deeply connected to Sprout, Sprout is his own person to be. How wonderful and terrifying.

Which brings me to another point. Learning Sprout's sex was strange (please, don't try to count how many times I use that word in this blog) because it means we have hit a new milestone of being able to use a specific pronoun: HIS toes, HIS movements. As a matter of fact, switching just from "Sprout" and "it" to "he" took a moment and I still feel like I am speaking in capital letters everytime I talk about Sprout now: HE is due in March. HE is very healthy. You know that I will have settled down when I can start talking in lowercase again.

Also: Happy birthday to my dad!

It's a....(19 Weeks, 3 Days)

Well, the suspense is over. Yesterday's ultrasound was really overwhelming. Sprout is in perfect condition. Has all 10 fingers, 10 toes, 4 heart chambers, 2 kidneys, etc. Weighs 11 oz and measures exactly exactly as Sprout should at week 19, 3 days. And, for those who are interested, just let me say that Sprout has a sprout. It was pretty apparent that this child o' mine to be is a boy. More later (including pictures.)

A BIG DAY! (19 Weeks, 2 Days)

I've made a website! Oh, and today is the day that we have the BIG ultrasound. (That's the real news). During the ultrasound, we hope to learn whether Sprout is a boy or a girl and still as perfect as we assume Sprout is. We should also get a movie. Make sure to come back at the end of the day to find out the results. That is, if we decide to tell!

Starting an online journal about Sprout and the pregnancy feels very strange, as both Aaron and I are intensely private people. I just feel like I can't miss the chance, though, to record this incredible time in our lives. I feel so good that I just have to share with our loved ones and, as most of you aren't in Atlanta, you can check in this way for news. Bear with me as I learn how this tech stuff works.

It is so hard to believe that we are almost halfway through this pregnancy. So far, everything has been going really great. I feel good and have been keeping really busy. The biggest signs of pregnancy have been that I am tired (well, that's not new) and focus on what I eat a lot (again, not at all new). And, now, I am slowly growing out of my clothes (well, to have it happen so fast is a little new). I have even been feeling pretty optimistic and upbeat (entirely new). I feel as if my life is just filled with blessings. Aaron and I have a great life together complete with little house, paid for cars, double incomes, (almost) behaved animals, and good health. I might not have recognized it if it weren't for this pregnancy, but we are living the lives we hoped for so long ago. Really, how many people get to live their lives that way? It's far from perfect, but it is pretty good.

And now with Sprout....well, each day, I try to take one moment and really commit that moment to my memory. I try to remember each day is unique and moving us closer to this entirely new part of our lives and I am in just utter disbelief. I feel like I am having the most profound experience of my life, while in the middle of one the most common experiences in the world. It is amazing.

Thanks to everyone for their love and support.