1. There are now less than 100 days to go.
2. I think I have to call my belly button as an "outie" these days. It's not way out there, but might as well be. I miss it. And, contrary to what my dad told me when I was very little, there is no ant that lives in there. I may never trust him again.
3. (This one is a little old.) According to WebMD, Sprout is officially viable and capable of surviving without me these days. A strange marker of time, but reassuring.
4. Sprout is SUPER active. He has been squirming and kicking so much that Aaron was actually able to SEE him kicking me last night for a couple of minutes. Definitely a moment where I think about John Hurt and his climactic moment in the movie Alien.
5. First car accident!
Yes, Sprout was involved with his first car accident on Wednesday. (Remember when I said I had a bad day?) First, let me say, Sprout is fine. I went to the midwives' today and got a full check-up. Sprout's heart rate was about 140 beats per minute and Wendy the Midwife said he was a real "sweetheart" for being cooperative when she used the doppler to check him out. Second, let me again say that Sprout is okay. The only things that were not fine were: the front end of my just paid off Civic Hybrid, my dignity after having gotten hysterical in front of the police, and my ability to focus for the rest of the week. It really was not a serious car accident. (You can see this from the photo below.)
On Wednesday afternoon, the power went off at the office. I stayed for 45 minutes but eventually ran out of things to work on without the phone system or the computer or a light source. A block away from the office, I stopped at the four way stoplight. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for woman on the cellphone in the midsize SUV who attempted to cross my path. Neither one of us were going very fast so the damage was not serious. Though shaken, I was able to stay very calm.
And, remember the guy who had run off the road and me wondering why no one stopped? After all, I would want people to stop for me? Well, putting that out in the universe paid off as a good number of people stopped to see after me. I guess 4 years of working in the same community really has made a difference. One of our community partners actually was in the lane next to the woman who hit me and saw the accident and stayed with me until the police got there. I did not, however, know then that she had seen the accident. She also called the zone commander (The Atlanta Police Department has 7 zone commanders to give you a sense of who he is) who we both know and work with to send a car out, rather than calling 911. (This becomes a critical detail later.) I'm still calm at this point and feel fine and lucky. No airbags, no cinching of the seatbelt, no stiff neck.
My colleague went onto the meeting in the building next to the intersection when Aaron and the police arrive. (Meanwhile, some of the school staff and people I know from the community all stopped to ask if I needed them and if they could help. I really see that as a silver lining on this crapstorm). Of course, I shouldn't have let her go, because when the police get there, they say that they can either issue citations to both of us or neither of us because they cannot determine who had the right of way. They will not include the statement of my colleague if she saw the accident because she is no longer at the scene of the crime and they will not amend the police report after they leave. (Remember, at this time, I'm not sure she has seen the accident.) They would not be able to tell if she was just telling them she was on the scene. The police report will say that we are both liable for the accident.
Okay, cue my hysteria on the side of the road. I am so angry now because it seemed completely obvious to me that if I had crossed 3 lanes of traffic before being hit and therefore just seconds from being out of the intersection that I was not at fault. So angry, that I am in fact crying and nearly hyperventilating. I couldn't believe that someone hit my car, and I was going to be responsible for paying for it. That's just not the way it is supposed to be: if you are at fault, you have to be responsible. If you are not at fault, you are not responsible. I'm always telling my 11 year old friend when she tells me something is unfair that she can't let that shut her down. That's great advice, but for her, something being unfair might mean not participating in a school program. For me, it is a $500 collision deductible! That's unfair! I really have other things to spend my money on right now. For brevity's sake, I'll just note that my tantrum continued on for a lengthy period of time, that I did not move the officers with my sniffling and crying, and that Aaron truly did his best from making sure I wasn't arrested and did not get a ticket. The (ir)responsible driver said nothing. After the police left, my colleague came out from her meeting and told me she had seen the accident. I called the officer and he told me that he still would not include her statement.
I went home mad. I went to bed mad. I woke up mad and went to work mad. I was mad at my bad luck. I was mad at people telling me that because I am pregnant I couldn't/shouldn't be mad. I'm pregnant -- I still have emotions! Further more, I was mad for not being able to be in control of the situation. That was the worst part. Immediately after the accident, I was calm. I saw the whole big picture. I was okay. Sprout seemed to be okay. It could have been so much worse. We could have lost so much more than the panels on the front of my car. I tear up a little to think of that one still. In the process of being focused on the big picture, though, I seemed to lose my presence of mind and good sensibility. I had a camera but didn't take pictures. I had someone there with me, but didn't even ask if she had seen the accident. I didn't tell her to stay. I cried in front of the police and the woman who hit my car and me and Sprout. I was not in control.
I know rationally that I can't always be in control, but not being in control definitely had a price...at least $500. I can't help but think of labor and delivery. I know I won't be able to be in control then. What sort of reaction can I expect to have then? Maybe something else positive about this is that I have a chance to reflect on that for the next few months and prepare myself for the moments when I cannot be in control like when the baby comes (and then goes on to live the rest of his life).
After 24 hours, though, I lightened up. I called the commander to ask if he would give a statement to my insurance company that in fact he had spoken with the witness. Armed with his statement and the statement of my witness the insurance company might be able to pursue the case with the other driver's insurance. He very clearly told me that he was going to have my colleague's statement included in the report because he knew that she had been at the scene. He would have a copy of the amended report for me soon. What I did not know is that my colleague and now hero had called the commander and talked to him for over an hour about what happened. By the time I spoke with him, he wished to discuss it no further and was ready to resolve the issue. I was thankful both for my colleague and for the commander knowing both of us from our work in the community. I was just so relieved.
And, then, today, we went to the midwives'. I was just so relieved that -- as we had thought -- Sprout was okay. I can really say that I know everything will be okay.
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