Sprout FAQ

So, since announcing Sprout and his ETA (look! I'm able to use gender specific pronouns now without the capitals! cannot stop using exclamations however!), we have just gotten lots of well-wishes, wonderful hand-me-downs (keep 'em coming), solid advice, and questions. As I lack a press secretary of my very own, here is a sampling I thought I would answer for folks at once:

Q: Are you excited?
A: Yes. What I find strange about this question is that it is almost followed by the question "Is Aaron excited?" Hmm....Under what circumstances would I answer that question "No"? I may start answering "no comment" just to keep things spicy. Well, he was in on this plot we have hatched from the beginning, and he is very excited. He may have been more excited when we were waiting for Star Wars Episode IV, but we saw how that ended in bitter disappointment, so I think he is playing it more low key here.

Q: Did you want a little boy?
A: I just wanted Sprout and am weirded out that Sprout is either boy or girl (though glad that it is one and not both). I admit it: I am scared of little boys. I have grown up and work in a world dominated by women, and I know and understand little girls. Heck, I once was one. Boys? Let's see, I dated some in high school and then married one, but that's the limits of experience there. And, I never had to diaper a one of them. Plus, it seems to me girls/women have more freedom and choices. You can be an astronaut or a nurse. You can wear loafers or pinchy heels. Men get three, maybe four different footwear choices. I think boys get more limited choices, too. Witness the baby clothes in Baby Super Mega Store this weekend. (Just how do the designers think of all those different ways to put puppies and planes/trains/cars/trucks on blue rompers?) I've got fears that I just didn't think about when Sprout was of an unknown sex: Will I understand a little boy? Will a little boy like me? How do you teach a little boy to pee standing up? Yes, all silly questions, but at least I can admit my fears. I am looking forward to certain things, though. One, I hear that boys love their mamas in a special way so much so that no woman could ever come close to mom. Two, I forgot: it's good to be a white man. I hear that's makes it easier to be President, Supreme Court nominee or CEO of a Fortune 500. Awesome.

Q: Isn't Aaron thrilled to have a boy?
A: Hmm. Again, this is a little weird like the first question. People who ask have not yet met Aaron or don't quite get it. Aaron is the guy who might have refused to marry me if I said I wanted to change my last name to his. His manhood isn't tied to Sprout's manhood-to-be. Aaron's just thrilled in general.

Q: Have you picked a name?
A: We are very close, I think. We will, however, not share until the bitter and likely uncomfortable end. Some of you may have heard names we were trying on, but I can neither confirm nor deny a definite name choice. It is not Amadeus, however, as Cheryl has worried. And, it won't be Sprout. Not permanently at least.

Q: What about last name?
A: No comment. I was telling people, but folks just don't understand and it takes too long to explain. If we haven't already discussed it, we will share at the same time as the rest of the name. But really, does Sprout need a last name? Doesn't only having one name give Sprout a leg up on being famous? And, it's not like people have always had last names. Geez.

Q: Have you felt Sprout move yet?
A: I won't testify to it in a court of law, but, I think yes. Over the past week I have noticed that sometimes I feel like I am being thumped like a melon but from the inside out. Mainly when I am lying in bed, but now even during the day. However, if you haven't seen from the link on the right, my uterus is trying to grow to just under my brainstem and pushing all the other organs out of my ears---I have no idea what that feels like either so I might be mistaking one for the other.

Q: How much weight have you gained?
A: What answer? I'm not going to answer that at all. However, I do like this question considerably better than when I get told that my face has really gotten round. (People! It couldn't get rounder!) Or, better than when people note I have gained weight. My young friend Stephanie says that I have gotten really fat in the stomach. God bless 11 year olds. Of course, she just found out a few weeks ago I was pregnant so she thought I had gotten really heavy for being one month pregnant. That's kind of sweet in a weird way.

That is all for now.