The New Baby

Made you look! No, this isn't about a sibling for Sprout (a "Sprig", if you will). This is about my ongoing journey to figure out what I am and what I do besides the motherhood gig and the promise of a very big work project for me.

I love our arrangement right now. I am very lucky. Warning -- I am about to brag. Both Aaron and I are home all the time. I generally do baby duty all day, but can count on Aaron to take care of the baby when I need him to. For example, he might cover breakfast duty if I want to go back to sleep after taking care of the baby from 5 to 8 AM just like today. (Yes, the baby's sleep is really off while he has this cold.) Sometimes, the three of us will go out during the day to run errands or eat lunch. Our finances haven't been hit too hard, and I generally get positive responses to my being at home. (Recently, however, a friend who shall remain nameless asked how bored I was.)

Probably the thing that has been most difficult in the transition was that I expected to have more time when I left my job. I expected I would keep the house much cleaner, cook all the time and maybe even take on some projects or hobbies. As I often write here, I was entirely wrong. It gets me very frustrated sometimes. I don't have more time. I am very glad when I have time to eat lunch and go to the bathroom by myself -- things they almost always let me do at my former job. I am able to do a lot more around the house, of course, but I am not yet Supermom. For example, I want to let all of you know that I do not appreciate those of you who so conscientiously sent delightful Christmas cards and holiday letters with great pictures of your children, rubbing it in my face that buying cards doesn't matter if you don't send them out.

What has been great -- I mean, FANTASTIC -- is I just don't have the same pressure on me that I did before when I was working. I wouldn't say I am on vacation now, but it is a holiday from work stress. I had told everyone that I was going to do some freelance work and even printed up little business cards, but had not actively pursued or done any work since sometime the end of October. This week, though, I got a lot of news on the work front and most of it has me anxious once again, but in a positive way. First, through the recommendation of a former contractor and friend, I've been accepted to review grant proposals to a national foundation in DC. It's just a few days work at the end of February, but it's something I would have thought out of my league before and it will be good experience. Zeke will come, too, with Aaron as nanny. (I told you, we have a great flexible arrangement.) Now we begin the obsessing about whether to travel with a car seat, what to pack, et cetera. Coincidentally, my father and stepmom will be in DC at the same time visiting my stepsister who lives there, so we will have a family reunion. Let me know any good travel tips you might have when taking infants on planes to big cities.

Second, I've been asked to be a writer for a website and provide weekly localized content. The website is designed to help families up and out of poverty by providing them the most powerful tools on the internet that will help them find jobs and childcare, file taxes, connect with local resources, become homeowners and learn about health. I thought it would be a much lighter sort of job, but they have asked me to be only the fourth writer they have and the only one in a local market (they have 30 some similar websites in other markets). My job would be to cover some community events and issues, do some opinion pieces, and profile families and community groups. They want me to write at least four stories a month, all from home, and for an hourly rate with expenses. It is a nearly perfect opportunity and has me utterly terrified. I would finally be a writer, not just someone who writes as part of my job or as a late night mommy blogger. I'm still working out some important details with them, but am already working on my first story. They have agreed to be flexible with me as we figure out how much I can take on and as they figure out exactly what they need.

So, I think I'm slowly moving from the realm of SAHM (stay at home mom) to WAHM (work at home mom). No guarantees, but keep your fingers crossed for me that I figure out a way to make this baby work.