Zeke the Protector

We try to raise Zeke so that he understands that there are rules for him to follow -- and that he sometimes has the safe space to break rules. For the most part, we seem to be succeeding and he is a pretty rule-based kid. (For the other part that doesn't follow rules, I chalk that up to him being 3.) He seems to have internalized a lot of rules and we've noticed recently that he tries to enforce them among his friends and with us. For example, I've asked him to be considerate and not be loud when I am on the phone and he demands the same of me when he is on the phone. The difference: I'm on the phone with a person that wants information from me from some reason, Zeke is on a play phone having a conversation with himself.

We also feel, in general, that Zeke is developing appropriately in regards to his moral character and empathy. Aaron was really the one who noticed this first, but I got to see this first hand at the playground last Friday.

We were having a great play date at the playground with one of Zeke's good friend from schools and Zeke was really caught up with his friend. He stopped in this tracks, however, when he saw two little boys, one younger and smaller and one older and bigger than Zeke. The younger one was wailing and the older boy was dragging him away. Zeke ran over and got between them as I scrambled to get closer to see what is going on. Zeke put his right arm around the younger one and put his left arm straight out to get some distance between them and the older boy. Zeke started saying, "No, we don't hurt! No, we don't hurt!" He then started backing away with the little one while keeping his eye on the big one -- it was like from the war movie when the heroic soldier puts himself on the line to save his endangered comrade. Honestly, I swelled a little with pride that Zeke wanted to help and protect the little boy. He was so quick to action! He wanted to do the right thing!

Then, I had to pull Zeke off of the littlest boy and apologize to his mother who had also rushed to the scene.

Zeke, who might be hitting milestones for being moral and empathetic, has not yet learned to carefully observe situations, ask questions or read other people's emotional states. The true situation my child inserted himself was not what he thought it was. The little one had fallen and was upset. The bigger one was his older brother and was trying to get the little one -- in a kinda rough way -- to their mother on the other side of the playground. Zeke probably just made the situation much more upsetting to both of the other boys.

Still, the image of Zeke pulling the one boy close to him and the other bigger boy away from him makes me smile. Maybe he will make good big brother material?