Notice served (38 weeks, 2 days)

The Sprout now has an eviction notice. At today's midwife appointment, we scheduled the c-section. The c-section is scheduled for Wednesday, March 15 at 1 PM.

Am I nervous? Am I excited? Am I anxious? Enh....It is a lot of different things. It's astounding to have a "no later than" date and to have the reality sitting in front of me. It's exciting to know that everything is different from here. It's still disappointing, I admit, but I know that I am not in control and that it's not about me, I am focused on the right outcome (Sprout, of course) and I know it won't matter in the end and won't focus on it in the end. I know that this is how a quarter of all babies are born in the US. There is nothing wrong with having a c-section, other than it wasn't my choice, so please don't think I am criticizing having a baby by c-section or need lots of handholding (that's the opposite of what I want). Still, I do kinda dread spending time recovering from a surgery as opposed to recovering from childbirth and wish I could trade places with the women I know who wish for a c-section. And, to face it, I think I had done everything I could to prepare for a natural childbirth, but not for a surgery, so it just will take a moment more. If I had to compare it to something, it would be like a lot of my other choices in life -- for example, I have chosen to not eat most meat for the past dozen years. It would be difficult for me to then have a compelling reason to change my mindset and my options and eat a steak. I hate to complain, but this is my blog and how I feel, so I get to be honest about it. I'm trying to keep hope alive that Sprout might be in the 1% of full-term babies who turn, but it appears there may be a reason why he hasn't. I guess we will know by next week.

Nothing else to report from the midwife appointment. I actually lost a pound from last week. The nausea is from the baby squeezing my organs up and out my ears and will continue to come and go without good explanation as the baby positions himself. The cramping will continue until I go into full labor or next Wednesday. (Essentially, I traded all of the months without a period for something akin to the longest PMS of my life ever.) I ate a sugar cookie with strawberry frosting with my coffee after the appointment. It was good. Sprout and I deserved it. Just one more appointment scheduled with the midwives for next week.

At least we can plan accordingly for next week. One, I definitely have to finish up work in the next 3 days, which is really hard for me to do even though I knew I would have to do it eventually. Two, we have a place to board Maggie for the week so Aaron doesn't have to worry about her -- she'll just think she is on vacation when she gets to play for a few days with other dogs and not us dumb primates. Three, family members are scheduling times to come in now. Silver linings, people, silver linings.